My Daily Battle

In case you didn't know I have Narcolepsy, which in Lehman's terms means that I fall asleep easily and am always tired.  It is something that I have dealt with for a long time but wasn't diagnosed with until about 5 years ago.  What I don't have is Narcolepsy with Cataplexy (thankfully) which is what most people think of when they hear the word Narcolepsy.  Cataplexy is when the person falls asleep during an activity, usually what you see in most movies or comedy skits.  What I battle with daily is exhaustion, with Narcolepsy I feel exhausted all day everyday.   It can be treated with medication which is typically what I do but you can't take anything while you are pregnant or nursing.  For some reason both times I have been pregnant my body has created some type of hormone and my Narcolepsy has seemed to diminish, when most people are struggling with low energy levels during pregnancy I was thriving the whole way through.  Because I have chose to breast feed for a year I have just had to battle it daily and some days are harder than others.

Today was a hard day.  As some of you know my kids don't sleep.  I try not to complain about it because frankly I don't want unsolicited advice on the matter.  You know how you have those random things that you just don't want to hear people's 2 cents about? Well this is my thing.  I don't know why but I get defensive when people try to tell me about what I should do regarding my kids sleeping or lack there of.  Maybe it's because I only get about 4 hrs of sleep total a night, 6 hrs is a really great night.  But it's my problem to deal with and I have super happy kids during the day so I'll take the trade off.  Alot of times people ask me how I do it and I always think it's a funny question because well you just do.  I mean it's like anything with motherhood you don't really have a lot of options when it comes to certain things with your kids.    Anyways back to today, I have all of these tricks I do to keep my brain stimulated so that I can stay awake.  That's one of the reasons we are always on the go, this is the only way to keep me going, if we are at home too long sitting around I can barely keep my eyes open literally.  Today I made the mistake of putting on comfy pants when we got home from Addie's 9 mos appt.  my jeans had gotten wet from the snow so I grabbed some PJ pants.  Then when Addie went down for her nap I laid down to and slept.  It.was.great. But then I realized all of the things I didn't get done, the house is a mess, and the problem with Narcolepsy is that naps don't make you feel refreshed.

Why as mom's do we always have so much on our "To Do Lists"  I mean really? Is there ever a day where we won't beat ourselves up about taking an hour to just do nothing?  I'm guessing maybe not, or maybe once the kids are older.  Thanks for letting me be totally random and now you can say you have a friend with Narcolepsy!