Sorry that it's been a few days. The weekends always fly by and I spent all day Monday sorting through hand me downs, which is a whole other post in itself. I've been kind of struggling lately about friends or my lack there of. I'm interested to know how everyone makes new friends? I don't want to say I don't have any unfortunately for me most of my friends don't live in Columbus which I absolutely hate. I feel like I was very fortunate to have an amazing group of girlfriends growing up but we all live in different states and I long to have friendships like that as an adult.
When I was working all of my friends were from the salon, and although I still stay in contact with some, some of the ones I was closest to have since moved away. So I find myself weekly at a loss almost scouring for someone to invite me to hang out. Me as in Christy not me as in Momma to Augie and Addie. I'm the type of person who will hang out with anyone if I'm invited and I really don't have a problem inviting myself a long some times too.
I'm not quite sure why it has been bumming me out so much lately, it could be the weather, it could be because I tried to reconnect with a once close friend who I had a falling out with a few years ago and she congratulated me on the birth of Addie and then said the door has been shut and could never be reopened. (ouch), or maybe it's because I just saw a girls weekend on facebook that a bunch of FB friends went on and it made me sad that I don't have that. Regardless of the reason the lack of connection is still there.
I'm on a nestie chat board and have met some really great mom's through there but you know how sometimes there is a comfort of having a computer screen separate your realities? I find that I can usually pour my heart out to a computer screen and talk more candidly about every topic sometimes easier then I can face to face. I think it's because there is a comfort in the screen knowing that you don't have to see the recipients expression or see them the next day or see them ever.
Since I have come to the conclusion that everyone will not be moving closer to me I need to find some people in Columbus. Or am I just being silly, should I just be thankful that I have some really great people in my life and even though I only get to see them once a year be happy with that! I guess I have began to realize that I'm no one's best friend anymore and as juvenile as that sounds it still makes me sad.
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No you aren't being silly! Make sure you ask your sister about this! #1. Pray for God to give you a good friend #2 Join a bookclub (or something like that where it's just women) #3 Offer to help someone you meet with something. =Friendship formed. Of course that's how your sis and I did it! HANG in there!
ReplyDeleteGrowing up I had a great group of friends as well, and then on college made another incredible group of friends. However, over the years everyone has moved, got married, and started their own families. Having children really does change your life- for the better in my opinion- yet it does make it hard to just go hang out with friends.
ReplyDeleteOne thing my gf from college do- there is a group of 5 of us- every 6 months we take turns traveling to each others houses (we go in alphabetical order by our first names) and have a girls weekend. We love it! It is actually my turn in May, so they are all coming here.
One thing I did this year is join The Junior League. It is a great organization- I think you would love it. I am the VP of my Provisional class. It is a group of women who serve the community. I am part of the JL of Stark County, but there is one in Cbus as well. http://www.jlcolumbus.org/columbus/index.jsp
I miss you!
-melissa
I know what you mean about being jealous about the girls' weekend that all those girls took. I find I don't have anything like that, either. It's hard. But I also have a hard time making time for friends, so we're probably different in that way. But I know what you mean about feeling alone.
ReplyDeleteI do have a few very close friends that have come from the board and that's been nice. Yes, there are times when I have to censor myself (can't complain about someone that frequents there, for instance...not that I ever would...lol), but generally they're close enough that I can still be myself and be open on the board.
Making friends is SO hard. And maintaining friendships is really difficult as well. And we work so hard at being mommies and wives and everything else that it's hard to put forth that effort, too!
((HUGS))
((hugs)) you make me sad!! I think you're such an incredible woman and I'd LOVE to get to know you better. But, after you get to know me, you might not want to be friends with me. LOL :)
ReplyDeleteIt's hard making friends..especially GOOD girlfriends. I've found that I have to put forth the effort to get anything in return. I have to make that conscious effort to email, plan something or drop a quick "hey" note. I'm lucky in that I have a few planners in my core friend group. They don't let too much time pass before something is on the calendar for us to do!
Sending you lots of love and hugs!
Christy, I'm struggling with the same thing. This post was like a window into my life. Here's to hoping it gets better ... for both of us. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. I have 5 great friends from school and we are still close but when 1 moved away and the rest had to work a full time job it got harder and harder. We do still make time for each other but in my book you can never have enough friends. I really became close with 2 girls from church, also when Augie is in school you will meet so many stay at home moms. I have met so many wonderful friends at Hayden's school. We plan activities so our kids can play and we can talk. I so wish you were closer. I also do struggle with finding time to hang out though. Reagan is such a demanding child and has to be in bed early so we always have to hang at my house which is fine. Your sis should have some great advice as well since she completely had to start over.
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